round five... are we still alive???

round five are we still alive??? round six will we be knocked for six??? round seven will i need to pray for redemption??? round eight will supporters escape via the gate??? round nine will i need a case of wine??? OMG viewers someone just hand me the literary award for lame poetry!!! hee, hee.

     well the first quarter the power were pumping and looked mighty alive. great start, awesome vibe, strong statement, excitement and  relief permeated the air like a thick fog. they were back. they listened. they responded to our calls. god i could hardly breathe through the perfume of victory. i was giddy. i was intoxicated by the scent of victory and hadn't even had any wine by that stage. (seriously i should have but unfortunately medical reasons prevent me from doing so) but alas as the quarters wore on, our pulse went into nose dive and we went into cardiac arrest and then practically dropped dead. FFF...S ( for friggin footballs) i should have used my commandress powers and strategically sent nurse pardon me onto the field with her defibrulator. however, she declined due to her parking fines and atm the lady army doesn't have sufficient spondoola to fund an assault on adelaide oval. (i must raise this at the next fundraising meeting...feralina NNN please put that in the minutes) we were left wondering... what on earth do we have to do to resuscitate the season? revive the players? do we give them an elecrtric shock? (actually electric shock therapy sounds a little drastic but just might be an avenue). come on boys i will administer it free of charge. you just gotta make your way over to papa joe's garage...on second thoughts not a good idea, he is a crows supporter and cannot be trusted...drats what else is there to do???

     apologise i guess. yes apologise as it seems to be the flavour of the month, so here it goes... dear footy gods i am deeply sorry for gloating over the crows demise in the last quarter against hawthorn...(it is so outta character) i am also very sorry (being the lady army commandress) for allowing my sister to bring in a cats supporter to sit amongst us with her evil voodoo ways. ( don't lie i saw that robbie gray doll in your purse lala) i am sorry for not selling enough port power raffle tickets and for using the sneaky back entrance to the ladies toilets while everyone else waits their turn in line. i am sorry for calling jimmy a malaka for holding onto the ball and kicking it out on the full. i am sorry for taking miss moroneys goldfish out of the tank in our classroom in grade one and accidentally... i am sorry for eating my boys easter egg stash and blaming it on my mother. i am sorry...OMG i can't bear to confess anymore! i am sorry hear me? yes very, very sorry except for maybe the first one, hee, hee. so now can you see fit to lift the curse from port adelaide so we can get back to playing team footy? because other than a curse it really defies logic or does it? ok we are getting smashed in the centre clearances, the hit outs, the contested footy, so maybe there is some logic after all folks but tough times call for action. i have to admit after listening to kochie upstairs after the game, i came very, very, very close to storming the stage and snatching that microphone so that the common voice of the supporter could be heard. and what would i have said...OMG we have our lord howe member fly all the way here in anticipation and this is the way you repay her loyalty? lovie is here too who has been supporting you since 1950 and you are driving her to drink wine from a secret thermos smuggled into adelaide oval because she is on a pension...OMG you ought to be ashamed of yourselves!!! 

    but seriously folks what would i have said? i would have said...no kochie the boots belong to the players not us. and if i could somehow transfer my passion and all of those who stand united to support this great club because we believe that port is capable of great things then i would but i can't. yes we suck atm but we have faced worse. and yes football is a cut-throat ruthless unforgiving if you don't suceed business and yes we have players out of form but do you know what i think? forget about finding form and start creating it. extinguish that collective negativity that looms on the horizon and dig deep, fake it until you make it. turn that one quarter into four and we will be back on the right track!!! 

(PS i am currently available for locker room motivational pep talks at a discounted rate...hee,hee) we just have to tough it out. there are no quick or easy answers for the truth is we do not know what goes on behind closed doors. however, i think it is time we took a bit of a back seat and shut up shop. admitting to being rattled, defending rumours may be perceived  as a sign of mental fragility or weakness. so instead keep your cards close to your chest boys, bluff your way if you have to, many a game has been won not on the cards you have but the skill with which you use them...new game, new mindset #overandout#weatherthestorm... 

stay strong viewers

love FFandF XXX
PPS the lady army has sent over some strategic support for round 6 funded by big ivan, many thanks, hee, hee...