pre-season training...

hello my name is barry

i thought i heard the sound of an ambulance arriving this morning viewers but hey nope it was just my mother driving at breakneck speeds to storm my residence with her medical team in tow... (because she had this crazy idea i was about to suffer a fatal heart attack from the heat). yep folks it is official i am in pre-season training. and after a week of stalking and monitoring burgos whereabouts and listening with my crappy communications device i have resigned myself to the fact that i am gonna have to work out his training secrets on my own plus some internet research...and call it crazy but yes i was running in this blistering heat in a hot tin shed, yep coz my new piece of elite fitness equipment is housed in there...introducing my new friend Barry, somehow i think i am gonna hate his guts!!! (unfortunately my budget did not stretch to one of those fancy anti-gravity treadmills but hey you never know if my numbers come up then well, i will put it on my shopping list!) and yes i was running in the blistering heat coz according to burgo heat training is preferable to altitude training and considering i don't own any ski clothes or that my budget doesn't stretch to st moritz i have opted for the alternative...hot tin shed training.

     i was running at a reasonable pace when son number two came out to inform me that lovie had called. he also informed me that she said that what i was doing was highly dangerous and could lead me to suffer a premature heart attack, mm, fortunately i was able to finish my 35 mins of hard slog (which was just over 500 cals and worth about 100gms of dark chocolate...hee,hee) before she arrived wagging her finger full of the latest thing she had read or heard concerning the dangers of the heat. and yes i admit it was not pleasurable punishing oneself in this heat but as i pointed out to dear lovie if it is good enough for port adelaide to train in this heat well then it is good enough for me...(not accounting for the fact that perhaps my level of fitness may not be quite to the standards of the young guns lol!!!) her response...YOU ARE BLOODY MAD!!! and my thoughts, well i thought by now she would have realised that i have my own way of doing things...

     so yes viewers i reiterate i have now entered pre-season training in the comfort and safety of my tin shed. why may you ask? because after a twenty year break of doing very little exercise and being banned from competitive sports i realised that even me a mere mortal desires to transcend to a new level of fitness. reflexes honed to perfection...KAPOW take that flying paintbrush! hey you can't go to the toilet without permission...FLASH...super speed sprinting skills and i have used my body to shield the escape exit. coz yes folks footy is certainly demanding but so is my job and so this time i am gonna be ready!!!
love and laughter FFFFXXX