from the couch...round 10...going undercover

well today finally a voice of reason... reece homfray about time someone writing who is realistic but not so lacey the reality tv star with the size triple L boobs. OMG just happened to notice that one today and to think she wants to supersize to triple Q. for goodness sake when does it stop? perhaps when they make it to the end of the alphabet? what makes it even more scarey is that she has the seventh biggest set in the world. what do number one's look like????...defies belief but hey i did say footy, female and fabulous so a diversion into woman land will occur from time to time!!! and me? at least i am natural...tee,hee!!!

     well we are now about to enter round 10 and what can i say? i am going undercover...yep believe it or not i am about to venture into enemy territory with two decoys in tow, son number one and son number two who happen to also be freo supporters. and why wouldn't they be? they were both born in the west and me i can admit i did adopt the dockers as my western side. i can still vividly recall the day my beloved POWER trounced them in 1998 as i happened to be in of all places, residing in the picturesque cocos keeling islands. yes there i was venturing into the local club and gathering place carrying on like a rabid power fan. however, unbeknown to me the future father of my children sat there drinking a beer trying to watch the game through my upbeat commentary and screams of YEAH GOAL!!! COME ON!!! he later confessed that when he first heard and saw me he hated my guts and wished that i would go away. but obviously when he cast his judgement aside and realised how charming and fun i was he changed his tune!!! and these days i am far more humble but still vocal none the less!!!

     a trip to darwin is on the cards for us. the bulldogs come in after a win and considering our four run defeat they would be feeling optimistic no doubt and hungry for a second win in a row. perhaps on paper and form we should be expected to win but hey expecting something too much leads to the greatest disappointment. best to remain optimistic and prepare oneself for loungeroom supporting. but before then i shall undertake my mission at aami stadium and yes viewers i shall wear nothing to reveal my true identity. i will try to remain composed and of course having my decoys by my side will practise self control unless of course freo happen to win or are thrashing the CROWS then i shall let the floodgates open and make a spectacle of myself...hee,hee but maybe not. my eldest will probably cringe with embarrassment as he is at that ripe age of OMG anything my mother does publicly is just tooooo embarrassing and he will just pretend to not know who i am.

      so to my guest tipster for this week. it is the wonderful mrs. bache, a former colleague of mine and visitor to this fine state. last year we had the pleasure of her company and her daughter and accompanied them to the final which unfortunately went the CROWS way. mrs. bache and myself plus a few other staff members are all keen footy followers and of course were quite enthusiastic about the tipping comp at school. i can tell you that she is currently in number one spot so she must be doing something right. the pressure is on for her to maintain her lead but you know tipping viewers? a few upsets, some injuries and it can all go to hell in a flash. and when money is involved the pressure is on. that's a new pair of shoes, maybe two!!! so please give a warm welcome to mrs. bache and if you are looking for some inspiration you may want to take note of the fine effort she has put into the thought of her tips. it's another gold star award!!!!

Hi Margie.

I’m feeling the pressure now that I have hit top of the tipping ladder!

 

Without the big JB I think Collingwood will be too good for the Lions. They should win by a reasonable margin. Micky Malthouse won’t allow Carlton to be beat by GWS and after seeing how difficult Sydney made it for those amazing Dockers, I’d go for the red and whites to be too good defensively to allow Essendon to get their runners up and going. The mighty cats should be too good for the Gold Coast but they won’t want to take their foot off the pedal or GC, running high on confidence atm, could take it right up to them. I’m leaning towards Port getting back on the winners’ wagon against the Bulldogs but this one I’m not totally confident about! Sorry Margie but I hope they do get up as I need that tip to go my way. Freo to beat Adelaide goes without saying, especially now that they have been firmed as third favourites for premiers (???!!!) Hawthorn v Melbourne, say no more. Hopefully North Melbourne won’t choke this week and will manage to get over St Kilda who are really struggling now that the best coach in the league has gone elsewhere. While Richmond will put up a good fight against West Coast, I don’t think you can go past the Eagles at home. Sorry Jack, but I think you are in for another unhappy day.

And there you have it!! I’m hoping for 9 from 9 this week.

 

As publisher of the blog Ms Margie feel free to edit any of my bullshit before publication!!

 

And how do I add a comment to your blogs?? It asks me what medium I want to use??? Do I have to join something?

Enjoy the game on Saturday and the rest of your weekend. Talk soon,

Julie.

yes mrs bache i do think you need to join but i am not sure how you go about it. i have yet to have any followers viewers so if you want to be thenumber one ticket holder you better get on to it before i go viral!!! Hee,hee...love FFFXXX

from the couch...post game wrap...the indigenous round

this week is reconciliation week and the weekends fixture was the indigenous round to celebrate the outstanding contribution indigenous players have made to our great game. the first match, pies vs swans i believed would go the pies way after their victory over the cats... but i was to be mistaken, but not the guest tipster because he had pencilled in the swans and a good call at that.

    this round not only celebrates the indigenous players but also actively promotes zero  tolerance to racism. and rightly so. too many players in the past have been sledged because of their origin and colour of their skin. i for one can empathise having been subjected myself to the never ending stream of questions, mostly curious in nature but nonetheless really by todays standards and etiquette now considered bad manners. i love the sun and the sun loves me. i could go out in the shade and i will still become darker such is my genetic constitution. in fact i was asked by the wife of a retired politician why i was so dark. such ignorance. and of course i was stunned to be blatantly asked that question while taking part in official school business on the cocos keeling islands...that is absolutely true and my colleague had to pick her jaw up off the ground in disbelief...and that is coming from an adult.

     friday nights match was soured by a racial slur from a young collingwood supporter caught up in the heat of the moment. it was stupid and offensive and on all accounts i was expecting something far, far worse. however, that is not the point and the buck should stop there. i admire adam goodes and i  admire his empathy for this young girl in need of re-education. although no excuse, she is young and foolish and i for one am glad i am not a celebrity because i can confess to have done and said many stupid and silly things myself (usually with a benny hill twist)...apologies to my sufferers but hey i will not live for regret....

     and now to the game. the game that i attended with son number two in tow and the cats supporter i had been harbouring. i had already prepared son number two for defeat not that i am a pessimist but i was just being a realist. we are yet to reach the class of geelong. we are yet to have played long enough together that they would know where their team mates were if they were blindfolded. and it was difficult sitting there watching all those behinds. and yet even though there was not a huge discrepancy in the statistics there was in the style of play, the strength and committment to the ball. thank goodness 62 points did not become a huge blowout and thank goodness i had mistakenly left my mobile at home. i was imagining a log full of texts from catman. but being smart i left him with his mates to become distracted by booze. fortunately one of them was one of us...good on ya ivan for having to put up with pussycat man. and thanks pussycat man for not rubbing it in!!!

     and although i didn't enjoy another defeat the weekend was about to take a turn for the worse with the kangaroos letting go of what seemed like a wrapped up defeat. OMG pussycat man and i were staring at the TV in disbelief. i for one was uttering words which my boys should have not heard. frigging damn you CROWS for your comeback and knocking us out of the eight...*&*&*&%*(&%%(*&(#@#@$%$& and damn you media for carrying on yet gain and printing another sensational headline...pretenders??? well as far as i am concerned that is pretty harsh. take a reality pill journos and write about PORT as they truly are... a young team rebuilding with potential for better things to come, that is far more accurate.

   well at least i can say i did not slump into footy depression. instead i went out gal shopping with catman's wife. instead of feeling sorry for myself and buying everything in sight i encouraged her instead. the test of my footy resilience was truly remarkable viewers because i made it out of the shoe shop without having purchased the two pairs of boots i had tried on even though i loved them, truly, truly loved them. how is that for a show of strength? and like my team even though they were defeated again i shall not succumb to spectator defeat and become a misery guts complaining about all the mistakes they made and all the goals they missed. they can watch the replay and see it for themselves. and just like mistakes no matter how bad they may seem if you learn from them that is where the true education lies. already the young girl has apologised, she will certainly learn from her mistake lets just not keep reminding her about it. let her learn the lesson and move on...

     and one last thing... my guest tipster mr. reid wasn't so hot , five from nine, at least six could have been respectable. i have a funny feeling though about his son number two with the amount of damage he wreaked in my household. i wonder whether pussycat man had in fact been training him to actively destroy a POWER fans' house, surely not?... but just kidding. after all he is a child and children can be easily forgiven but not so for adults who should know better...just like the second collingwood fan caught on camera, now that really is a shame and totally unacceptable...

from the couch...round 9...mojo and memories

fifteen...

port have lost their mojo...seriously? the only one who has lost their mojo at this point in time is moi but don't be alarmed viewers it is only temporary and one of the side effects of being female... and when i feel like this my mind kicks into overdrive and i begin to think of all sorts of things that come back to haunt me....like OMG dare i say it 2007? what a year to forget!!! but the past is the past and there is nothing much to be done about that but to move forward. even from the most dire circumstances or depths of despair there is a way to climb out of the hole and into the light...trust me it can be done. you just have to find the right path and follow it and if you happen to take a few detours, well and good as long as they steer you back into the right direction. and i say we are heading in the right direction with a few detours still to come.

     three losses in a row and the paper declares we have lost our mojo? well i say rubbish to that. it is more like all the hoo-haiing about the 5-0 start and some getting ahead of themselves. geelong, the pussy cats or the kings of the football jungle? well last week the kings were dethroned by those pesky pies which was bound to happen sooner or later but why them? why did they have to have the satisfaction? and so now we will be faced with the prospect of a cats side returning to prove a point and i am wondering, are we going to be taught a harsh lesson? i have decided that the only course of action (besides finding out where the cats are staying and sending them an exploding chocolate cake or hijacking their game bus) is to pray. yes to pray. do not underestimate the power of prayer or the powerful ways of god, viewers... well i hope in this case the footy gods. i for one am living proof of the power of prayer which is kinda a bit embarrassing but it is high time i exorcised my bra demons. so here is my confession...when i was fifteen i prayed to god to give me boobs because i didn't really have any...that much is true. and i mean i really prayed hard. seriously, i mean really, really hard, that my eyeballs almost burst. i think perhaps god was worried that they would come exploding outta my eye sockets and he genuinely felt sorry for me, perhaps maybe a little too sorry for me...hee,hee!!! i am not sure i could ever pray that hard again but i will give it another shot...

dear footy god.

i don't mean to sound like a desperate supporter and truly i am grateful for our five- zero start to the season. it is just, well i don't think i could take another... you know big defeat. so i am asking, no make that demanding, ok, begging, for you to have it in your heart to show some mercy. and also please forgive me for harbouring a geelong supporter in my own home this weekend but he is the husband of one of my port lincoln besties and they have young children and i didn't think it was right to leave them out in the street or make them sleep in my backyard chicken coops...so i am extra hoping you will take this kind act into consideration and that i will be rewarded for my footy tolerance. also please note i have scrubbed the bathroom floor. i know my toilet smells like a urinal but i do have two boys so i should be exempted from that one!!! bless you dear lord and if we should lose i will take it as another lesson in resilience building but if we lose again the following week i think i will call you a few names that i cannot publish...just kidding coz i know you are truly kind, generous and powerful. please bless the team and protect them form any severe cases of food poisoning, rickets and unkind comments from the media. amen...

     so to the guest tipster for this week. wait for it....da da da da...mr.russell reid altho i call him RUSSAL... he is in fact the geelong fugitive i happen to be harbouring and married to one of my very gorgeous friends. what can i tell you about mr. reid is this. he is a die hard and devoted cats supporter. he and his wife probably had the longest engagement on record ( well certainly in my group of friends) but i was honoured to be at their wedding and to contribute by creating their wedding cake. i have it on good authority that he has managed to brainwash his first born but if i know jodie he will have buckleys chance of converting son number two. 

     this weekend i have the pleasure of hosting him and his family but have not decided as yet if i will be able to sit next to him at the footy as i already am beginning to feel like a traitor. so for round 9 if you are looking for some tipping advice i will leave it up to you. his tips could leave you roaring like a big jungle cat or purring mildly like a little kitty. you decide.russell's tips...sydney, cats of course but who wouldn't? westcoast, saints, brisbane, richmond, hawks, freo and roos. but personally not trying to influence anyone i will go pies and bombers instead. so until wrap up time may the footy gods bless you!!!! love FFFXXX

 

from the couch...post game wrap...round 8

well viewers i have to confess there won't be a lot to say. i know you don't want to hear my excuses but i have a few. firstly my footy viewing was severely hampered this last round due to galavanting around kangarroo island and secondly being out voted by the kaftan five who made an executive decision in favour of the eurovision song contest. well i suppose there are a few paralells...these europeans take the song contest very, very seriously and go to great lengths to gain that winning edge, from mutant frocks to sensational dancers with exemplary hand choreography. if they think it will make a difference then obviously they give it a go...good on 'em i say, makes for spectacular viewing, hysterical laughter and inspired loungeroom spectating...

       i have to tell ya out of the five of us, three PORT, one BOMBERS and one FREO supporter (who had the audacity to be wearing her husbands splendid velour freo inspired dressing gown); we were all rather surprised to find (during my sneaky channel surfing moments) that the cats were being swooped down upon by the pies. on all accounts having made the fatal mistake of having a useless phone service provider i was the one left out of the AFL app loop. damn i couldn't even consult my phone. in the end a one goal difference and on all rumoured accounts the pies took it to them and claimed the first life. and of course me being the premier couch football analyst that i am was certain the pies were going to be plucked and left completely bald...just goes to show how wrong you can get it in footy. the same applies to the lions and bombers game...who would have thought? and of course our kaftan five member was not impressed with two defeats in a row. mrs freo velour was suitably offended i didn't consider the swans/dockers clash to be the game of the evening but was happy to accept a draw. who knows, those two points could make all the difference come finals time...

     and i don't want to bore you with all the details of our getaway...frivolity, dinners made by in house chefs, gulping down fresh coffin bay oysters with french champagne... plus the spectacular scenery, fabulous weather conditions and pristine beach on our door step...no,no,no i know you don't want to hear all about that!!! but yes those were just a few of the distractions keeping me away from my footy writing and couch analysis. so to the wrap... listening to the game on the ute radio the three in the back probably wished they were wearing ear muffs. they were also a little concerned about my sisters driving and commentary on our journey back to adelaide. the rest of the game i watched in the comfort of my sisters abode on the new telly my brother in law had purchased for the back area. well three losses in a row, some dumb decisions, lack of skills surfacing, lack of confidence but in the end yet again i have to console son number two who gets so emotionally involved in the game. mm, i wonder where he gets that from?

   but one thing you wont get from me viewers is complaining and negativity about the supposed demise of our team...i shouldn't read the supporters comments but i just can't help myself and thank goodness there are some like minded fans out there in the footy world. i listened to hinkley in melbourne when i went to the first game and i have to say i was impressed with what he said from the beginning and agreed with him. back to reality the paper says. well the reality is simple. we are rebuilding and i for one although suitably impressed with a five-zero start was never under any illusions. i say the first five spots, maybe even six are fairly predictable, the last few will be fought for and some of that will depend on the luck of the draw and of course not forgetting injuries. and of course not forgetting mr.bennett my guest tipster from round 8 who wrote a brilliant piece about being in a mixed marriage and finished his tipping, well respectably, i guess.

     and so for me it is back to reality...back to work tomorrow and the reality of the next round. OMG  i don't know whether i should admit this (as perhaps some of you might consider it treason) but i am actually hosting a cats supporter in my own home!!! please forgive me but he is the husband of one of my best buddies and the whole family is coming and of course my mother has reminded me to tidy the house and scrub the bathroom floor. unfortunately for me viewers it has the most unforgiving tiles but i know you don't want to hear all about that either!!! so until the preview if you have a supporter gown especially if it is velour i hope it keeps your warm on a cold winters night. and if you happen to be sitting in front of a fire watch those embers, it would be a tradegy to see your gown go up in smoke!!! love FFF XXX

from the couch...round 8...the club

hello viewers. 

well i have to admit i have been totally distracted this week. in fact i have been enjoying the sights of the majestic kangaroo island with my own little club known as the notorious kafatn five...sounds funny doesn't it? well we think we are.  four of us share a history that dates back to days spent in london living the adventures of a much more youthful existence. number five, well he is just a ring in but nonetheless a well loved one at that, adding a seal of approval...but sorry to have to tell ya... club membership is officially closed and ratified by the kaftan constitution. so you're gonna have to go and form your own club but it won't be the same... hee,hee.

     twenty eight years ago i happened upon this island as my first teaching post. and twenty eight years ago i was welcomed into the dudley united netball club as the ring in from the city. i never quite understood why they were the bottom dwellers because the talent was obviously there. however, viewers that was transformed into a winning combination that brought home the 1986 winter premiership. what a glorious and alcoholic induced victory that was. i still remember my team mates breaking into my house and dragging me back out to the local pub. nothing like winning the premiership is there? and nothing like being part of a great team. i get it. i also get my beloved team are a team of young talent that are gonna take some time to gel and find their way so poo poo to all of you who carry on because we have lost two in a row...one game at a time and no disgrace in defeat if you have tried. patience is a virtue...hee,hee, i should take my own advice!!!

      well to round seven and my guest tipster....mr.andrew bennett. andrew is a CROWS supporter, yes you heard right, a CROWS supporter. i have had the displeasure of being in his company when we lost the second showdown last year. his lovely wife and i are known as the feralinas which is strictly a term of endearment and have bonded through our love of PORT among other things. i have invited andrew specifically viewers because he is in a mixed footy marriage and i thought it would be interesting to get some inside info on this very tricky dilemma that does in fact affect some of our supporters. so if you don't want andrews tipping advice but find yourself in a mixed marriage or partnership it might be worth your while to ponder his words of wisdom, until the wrap up be sure to wear a kaftan they are incredibly comfy and hide a multitude of sins!!! ps i say the cats will smash the pies, sydney and freo will be tight and we are in with a chance against the blues.love FFF XXX.

Andrew’s Footy Tips

West coast

Essendon

Hawks

Gold Coast

Collingwood

Sydney

Port Power (this one is for the Lady Army)

Richmond

Crows

My life within a ‘mixed’ marriage.

When I first met Nicole there was no Port Adelaide AFL. Back then she was a devoted Crows supporter. We had seasoned tickets which meant we went to games together and when we weren’t at the games we watched it on the T.V. It was an ideal life! Little did I know, this ideal life would come to a screeching halt in 1997.  At first, I was joyous and very much excited about having another team from SA in the AFL.  However, that all changed on one fateful day in April.  The first Show Down. It was the first time losing a minor round game felt like losing a grand final.  She had been confident in the Power and cocky that they would win, had years of tradition she told me…I believe this match set in place a strong rivalry not only between our two great clubs but of course between Nicole and I. 

Nicole and I have been together for nearly 17 years and over that time I have learnt a few things. Invaluable survival strategies………important things to ensure that all is well in the Bam-ba-lamb house hold. I thought I would share these with those of you already in a ‘mixed’ marriage or those of you contemplating entering into such a union.  I have titled these life lessons: Advice to the Novice Partner of a Feralina. Please find them below for your edification.

1.       Be tempered when your side wins, as we all know a loss is just around the corner. (this does not apply to finals games).

2.       When deciding who has the best team, players and achievements, it best to take a support all South Aussie teams approach. Remember the VFL is the real enemy here.

3.       When arguing about who is the greatest player, Andrew Mcleod or Gavin Wanganeen, avert your eyes and don’t commit, we all know it is Mcleod, but any mention of this and a loud forceful Feralina with arm flying is released. Best to not let that Genie out of the bottle, hard to shove it back in.

4.       Tempering the Feralina. This can not be done, especially after a power win. I suggest you find a cooking show on the television, turn it on and walk out to the room backwards. Remember your safety comes first.

5.       When attending /watching the showdown together, don’t cheer too loudly, as they say, don’t poke the beast when in full flight. Tragedies happen that way.

6.       What to do during the trip home in the car, if the Crows win. Turn on soothing music as quickly as possible, important to create a calming environment. Do not listen to after match rounds ups and most importantly always ask permission to place scarf out of car window.

7.       What happens if ‘they’ win? Go immediately to your happy place and think about the Australian Cricket team smashing the Poms in the next ashes series.

8.       If you can cope with all that and have decided to make a baby with a Feralina make sure you promise not to influence your child’s choice of team.  Of course, while Feralina’s back is turned sing Crows team song at bed time and if child have been firmly indoctrinated into the ways of Port Adelaide book them immediately into the many deprogramming groups based around the state the help those confused babies born into this unholy of holy situation. Really, it is the humane thing to do.

To wrap up, my life with a Feralina has been full of passion, footy bifo and lots of great footy memories, and if you’ve got the constitution it well worth risking your life. 

* I have to say my guest tipster has excelled himself...GOLD STAR AWARD!!!

from the couch...post game wrap round 7

well viewers in hindsight the ominous signs were there... first friday night, coaches in slacks. OMG going from footy shorts to the old coaches slacks is not the height of fashion. seriously someone call the fashion police immediately or get the AFL to fork out for a consultant!!! if i was to pick the game from the first quarter alone i would have said welcome to the winners circle essendon but experience knew better. as i sat in the loungeroom being am armchair spectator with my mum we said the same thing, you can never write off geelong. and sure enough, united and shifting into the next gear their ferocity at the ball and putting the bombers under pressure paid dividends...their golden run continued and i have to admit right now i can't name one team that will come close to a cats side on the prowl, hungry for the 2013 premiership. and we have to play them in two weeks, i don't know if my blood pressure will be able to take it!!! but what would i know? hee,hee, i just say it the way i see it  and give it to ya in a form i hope leaves you chuckling.

     where do i begin? with the next ominous sign of course. grey skies, eager to burst their seams. the only thing that was burst was the POWER bubble and my car battery. yes indeed. ready to get to the game and running late in true style the car coughed and went nuh. back up plan... into the work ute we all pile, me, mum, little sista driving and two junior supporters, son number two and niece number one. mm, you know when you just get that feeling? well that feeling was beginning to resurface when i witnessed another geriatric start to the quarter. but what is there to complain about when the opposing team is outplaying you, out numbering you, out marking you, out kicking you...switch, lets watch it go to the other side again. bang lets watch another tiger hit their target and oops lets watch us miss another goal. then knights goes down and not a pretty sight, game held up and realistaion that this player will be facing a serious injury, man that sucks and so did our team selection. this was not a game to be experimenting. however, credit to the tigers, they have steadily been rebuilding and should be a contender for the eight, that should be expected. 5-0 from POWER was not and i would have to agree with hinkley it is a double edged sword but at least he is a realist.

     watching the first quarter was not pleasant. the only thing distracting me was the frizzura in front. yep the frizzura of the year was there again. and the frizzura happens to be a POWER supporter. i am surprised lovie did not get out her scissors and hack into it being the hairdresser that she is and me i was wondering when a bird was going to land in it. but little sista and i did our bit. i couldn't get too excited which is just as well as i have recently been diagnosed with low blood pressure (and no disrespect to knights who was taken off by the stretchermobile) but i began to think irrationally. perhaps i could create a diversion and have to be stretchered off myself to give the boys some time to regroup and find some mojo. perhaps if they kick the next two goals in a row they would then go onto win the game. maybe if i change seats... damn it!!! if only i had sold the raffle book instead of ignoring all those text messages!!! i knew it. it really  is all my fault, not the fact we were getting smashed in the ruck... i am soooooooo sorry guys for jinxing your game and i promise to never say i will sell a raffle book and then lose it and then pretend not to answer the phone ever again!!! 

     and do you know what made it worse? having to listen to a drunken tiger supporter carry on and make a spectacle of himself taunting the crowd. the temptation to use my footy record and his head as a tennis ball to practise some overhead smashes was enticing me but i just couldn't dishonour the name and get reported as a feral supporter. man don't you just hate that?? don't you just hate it when your team is losing and sucks and then some bastard has to go and rub it in? and btw to some of you supposed POWER supporters who had the audacity to complain yet again and compare this side to the POWER of old. wake up to yourselves and get a reality check. supporting your team is like a marriage, for better or for worse and if you don't like it divorce yourself and bugger off. young side, side rebuilding. culture being re-established, hopefully a culture that will act as an adhesive and collectivley keep these young lads together so that they may mature into a side that knows how to play as a team and for each other and won't be tempted to run off and chase the dollar. the top sides have been playing as a unit for years, re-introducing new blood until they get the right fit. we don't have the right fit yet, simple as that. we are not a well worn garment that is yet to be comfortable with ourselves...man oh man where is my booker prize??? ha...just kidding!!!
     well my guest tipster scored a respectable 7 from 9 and seriously i better get fox footy coz i wanted to watch that game...saints vs blues. and thankyou to the saints for knocking them off, hopefully we can feel a little optimistic for next week. so until the next preview (which for the first time i will be having a CROWS supporter as guest tipster, yes you mr. bennett!!!)... believe it or not...keep your frizzuras in check and make sure your birds nest does not obscure someone elses view and meets the hair height regulation limit!!! ba ha ha ha ha.... love and laughter from MS FFF!!! POWER ON!!!

happy mamma's day!!!

what i bought my mum...she named him after jake neade

from the couch...round 7...a confession

OMG i have a confession to make. i didn't return my raffle book to the port adelaide footy club or buy one ticket. i was going to, i intended to, i was meaning to but as usual i lost the book and ignored all the text messages reminding me to hand it over. OMG am i terrible supporter? and will this bad behaviour come back to haunt me and the team be punished for my indiscretion?...no karma be kind i say...hee,hee, perhaps i will consult my crystal bible and find a solution...

PS i just remembered i got my club membership this week  so i am sure that cancels it out!!!!

     well the army lady plus one will be severely depleted this round, so it looks like it will be primarily a family affair but don't worry, us sekulic ladies make up for lost numbers. son number two will continue to join his mamma and carry on the family tradition...well almost, five out of six from my childhood household with a dad who takes great delight in rubbbing it in when port loses and is more of a soccer man.

      i gotta say i am looking forward to watching the bombers and pussies clash. i am tipped towards the pusssycats to break the golden run and keep their unblemished record intact. another game which catches my eye is the hawks and swannies and i think maybe the dockers could clip the pies wings at home. so to tipping this week... and the guest tipster is none other than my little sista, an avid POWER and PORT ADELAIDE fan. she got her taste for footy at the infamous alberton oval and was also a member of the woodville highschool girls footy team that knocked off taperoo convincingly. our only one but winning game might i add and also to add some credence to that victory, we were coached by lleyton hewitts's mother....true, just ask cheryl!!!

      so here are little sista's tips...Geelong, Port, West Coast, North Melbourne, Hawthorn, Fremantle, Crows, Gold Coast and Carlton. it's up to you viewers...love FFF!!!

from the couch...post game wrap...round 6

damn you petri dish, damn you i say for being so tall and kicking those goals and listen here young lads; i hope you learnt a lesson!!! you need to start turbo charging your starts...maybe i need to come down and have a little word or let off a few firecrackers within your vicinity!!! maybe not.... i would never forgive myself if i had unintentionally injured one of the boys and then had to go into hiding from a rabid band of irate or is that feral POWER supporters??? hee,hee...

      well the end of round 6 does see two teams undefeated and boy is this weeks game gonna  be a big one... holy guacamole it better be coz i am intending to it view from the couch. but hey i would love to be there myself being an appreciator of a fierce and well fought contest displaying unprecedented skill and undeniable well constructed passages of play...OMG someone would think i was a footy comentatoress...yes and where exactly are these ladies i would like to know???

    so what can i say? i watched the pies flutter to a win and the coveted four points, well fluttering is about the gear they are in at the moment but i wouldn't pass up having shaw in our backline. man he is good...dedicated, vocal and a leader. well mr.riewoldt certainly shone in the second half but at the expense of being booed and hissed by saints supporters i for one have never understood the excitement about him. from the couch in a nutshell... uninspiring... best moments watching buckley throw a few hissy fits...loved it. nothing like the good old fashioned phone handset to slam down and vent ones frustrations... the young of today will rarely have the pleasure of doing that, man it feels good to slam down the phone, to hang up and make your point...hee,hee...bring back the phones i say!!!!

     slow to start once again i reckon the local bowls team had more pace but credit to the team to not completely throw in the towel. did i think it was gonna be another miraculous comeback?? indeed it seemed so. son number two had sorted his new footy cards into piles and was adopting the strategy of holding the roos ones in his left hand and chanting something unitelligible to curse their shots at goal. and do you know what? it started to work so that got me thinking... maybe i need to be wearing the exact oufit i had been wearing to all of our wins? did i have the same bra on? was i wearing the identical pair of knickers? did i jump up and down three times, turn anticlockwise and then do the moonwalk??? damn i forgot, no wonder we lost but alas i surely cannot be foolish enough to blame it on that. a better explanation would be that we were umpired out of the game. 38 frees to 15...official statistics... i know coz i checked my afl iphone app and then compared it to all of the other games where a favoured team faired better by 4 or 5. and umpire appreciation round...WTFOOTY? well i can say i certainly did not appreciate the umpiring...shame on you, do you realise how frustrating it is to scream obscentities at the screen and fist punch the air especially when you have the flu. at least if i had been to the game i could have shouted something like...PUT YOUR GLASSES ON!!! YOU SHOULD GET FREE ONES FROM OPSM!!! poo poo a loss but the bubble had to burst eventually and better now than later... 

      however i do believe congratulations are in order to mr.andrews who tipped 9/9...excellent work mr.andrews you now join lovie as our star tipsters. (and might i add lovie did indeed score another 9/9 this week...impressive don't you think) and to the pain of defeat...well i am not fazed viewers, the lady army plus one will be convening at headquarters once again, nothing beats being at the game. until the preview keep your undies on and if they happen to be your lucky ones make sure you wash them...footy,female and fabulous, well that is a matter of opinion..lol!!!

just saying...

11 hours ago via mobile

Umpire appreciation round WTF? Well I didn't appreciate your umpiring.....so there!!! Official stats 38 frees to 15 ...official comment...CRAPOLA!!!! Just saying... — at From the Couch...footy,female and fabulous.

Like · · Promote · Share · Tag Friends

from the soup kitchen...more recovery food or just a soup and bread for TV footy viewing...

 

from the soup kitchen...smoked hock, lentil and veggie soup
1 smoked hock ( about 1kg )
4 carrots diced, 

2 stalks of celery diced
1 large brown onion diced and 3 cloves of crushed garlic
2x 400gms tins of cherry tomatoes ( or just used crushed tomatoes if you can't find cherry ones, i get mine from coles)
1 bottle of tomato pasata ( 700ml)
1 cup of dry green lentils
2 litres of water, 

2 tspns of vegeta
3 tbspns of olive oil
fry onion, garlic and vegeta in olive oil, add carrots, celery and lentils, saute and then add smoked hock, 2 litres of water, the tomatoes, pasata and bring to boil, simmer for 2 hours, remove hock, strip meat, add back to soup, season if necessary and add a chopped handful of parsley, serve with warm crusty buttered bread...

— at Margies Home For Wayward Girls.

from the couch...footy,female and flu ridden...round 6...injuries

one of my followers made a comment about previewing a CROWS game...well after last week what can i say? your team could be F***ED ( i mean in trouble)...well i did mention that i thought adelaide had a one dimensional forward line. no disrespect to mullet man ( yes i have to confess i have made fun of his frizzura countless times) but i have to admit i do genuinely feel for him and would certainly not consider it positive sportsmanship to take delight in his misfortune. one does not want to be considered feral...

      to be relegated to the injury list would be frustrating, in fact down right disheartening. i hear ya mullet man and the other countless players currently sidelined. when you have a passion for sport and have the talent and skill to make it your fulltime job well a season ending injury must seem like the end of the world...but imagine if you could not play sport again fullstop and were restricted to a few forms of exercise like flower arranging and darts?? yes viewers i could share a few things about that because that is moi, a former sports enthusiast, netball, tennis, basketball player, avid runner and yes unfortunately calisthenics. (however i was recognised for my superior marching skills and leg tan.) hip replaced nine years ago by the infamous dr.oakeshott whom it is rumoured has skipped the country aboard a yacht with fully functional operating theatre. i can't imagine what on earth he would be doing? perhaps he has tapped into the plastic surgery market inflating B cups to double D's and has taken his inspiration from me...tee hee. who knows? but yes the infamous dr.oakeshott was a POWER supporter and highly regarded among the sports surgical fraternity. and as far as i am concerned he was a bloody genius. so all in all these days with the medical technology and rehabiliation available, hopefully these players can return to the game they love...and me i have come to accept my sporting days are over and so now have to impress you with my back up plan... witty writing, entertaining personality and creative madness hee,hee...i don't know whether you should be worried but one has to talk up their game!!!

      so now to round six...are you wondering when port will falter and experience its first loss? are you wondering like me how much better buddy franklin would look in the teal, black and white? and are you suitably impressed with our el presidente sticking up for us "feral," supporters? how very dare they!!! i love wearing my ugg boots and tracky daks to the local supermarket to do my grocery refill but i will draw the line at restyling my hair into the femullet...no thankyou very much!!!

so let me get back to the round, three teams are five and zip...impressive don't you think but are you wondering about essendon?? i have had one demand for the anti-obesity drug...seriously where is it? hee,hee!!! but forget that and cut down on your chocolate donut consumption instead. so to tipping and my tipster for the week. i would like to introduce another former esteemed colleague from the west...mr.andrews. mr.andrews is a die hard cats supporter and is currently in first place on the leader board so you gotta be impressed with that. he is also a fan of, "from the couch," and loves his job but looks forward to being the sole winner of POWERBALL. then he can fulfill his dream of  running a refuge for tired, abused and stressed teachers so that they may once again find the inner joy of teaching, the flame that once again may ignite that passion and inspire the imaginations of students...ba ha ha...i can hear him chuckling now!!! no, make that laughing. so a big thanks to you mr.andrews and remember if you are looking for some advice and footy tipping inspirtaion mr.andrews could be your man.  (and just remember if he happens to be crap, don't bother complaining, coz the MM says NO!!!) 

 Here are this weeks winning tips. Don't tell everyone though, coz it's all about the money in the tipping comps!! lol!!
Pies to thrash Saints...the saints "juggernaut" continues to look like the titanic..
Bombers to thrash Giants....go figure...
Kangas to upset Power....did I really say that...sorry Miss M!! Still luv me??!!
Hawks to continue Crows misery...shame, couldn't be happening to a nicer footy team...even if the coach is an ex cat. Shouldn't have left the fold!!
Cats to put Tigers to the sword....who'd have thunk it??!!
Dockers to beat Suns...can't see a thrashing, but from freo viewpoint it should be...
Swans to beat Lions into submission...but Voss's job is safe? I don't think so...
Blues to cause Demons to reconsider their own coaching position...expect a belting..
Eagles to outlast Bullies...and everyone will say Eagles are back on track....and isn't it great to have Nic Natanui back? Bullshit!!

Well, there they are Margie. Use this knowlege for good and not for evil. And get yourself better pronto..you know you're dying to go back to work. We've still got 2 days of hols left..Lucky us!! Love to read your posts. Your sense of humour makes me laugh, which is a rare thing these days!! Cheers! XXX

      right now i am from the couch, footy, female and flu ridden, not happy jan!!! i have included a recipe for recovery food ( see post below) and have my own personal rehabilitation crew the food and cleaning angels...over and out, footy, female and fabulous...flu be gone!!!!

recovery food...

this is my mum's recipe and is a little twist on the old fashioned chicken noodle soup...it is leaner because you use turkey instead of chicken...i made it yesterday to combat the scourge of the flu
ingredients, 2 turkey legs plus 2 turkey necks ( i got these at foodland)
2 large parsnips, 1 large swede, 1 large turnip, 4 medium carrots, 4 whole shallots peeled, 2 large cloves of garlic, 3 stalks of celery with leaves chopped in half, 2 tspns of sea salt, egg noodles
put all of ingredients into a large pot and add water to fully cover, bring to boil and then simmer for three hours, skimming when necessary
remove all ingredients and strain stock into another saucepan, bring to boil and add two reams of egg noodles and cook until tender after which you smash two of the carrots and chop the other two, add, squish shallots and garlic throgh sieve and add, do the same with the parsnip but chop up half a one into chunks, shred turkey from bone and add to soup, season to taste and add chopped parsley if you wish...done...hearty and delish...comfort food just like your mama makes!!!