hello viewers.
well i have to admit i have been totally distracted this week. in fact i have been enjoying the sights of the majestic kangaroo island with my own little club known as the notorious kafatn five...sounds funny doesn't it? well we think we are. four of us share a history that dates back to days spent in london living the adventures of a much more youthful existence. number five, well he is just a ring in but nonetheless a well loved one at that, adding a seal of approval...but sorry to have to tell ya... club membership is officially closed and ratified by the kaftan constitution. so you're gonna have to go and form your own club but it won't be the same... hee,hee.
twenty eight years ago i happened upon this island as my first teaching post. and twenty eight years ago i was welcomed into the dudley united netball club as the ring in from the city. i never quite understood why they were the bottom dwellers because the talent was obviously there. however, viewers that was transformed into a winning combination that brought home the 1986 winter premiership. what a glorious and alcoholic induced victory that was. i still remember my team mates breaking into my house and dragging me back out to the local pub. nothing like winning the premiership is there? and nothing like being part of a great team. i get it. i also get my beloved team are a team of young talent that are gonna take some time to gel and find their way so poo poo to all of you who carry on because we have lost two in a row...one game at a time and no disgrace in defeat if you have tried. patience is a virtue...hee,hee, i should take my own advice!!!
well to round seven and my guest tipster....mr.andrew bennett. andrew is a CROWS supporter, yes you heard right, a CROWS supporter. i have had the displeasure of being in his company when we lost the second showdown last year. his lovely wife and i are known as the feralinas which is strictly a term of endearment and have bonded through our love of PORT among other things. i have invited andrew specifically viewers because he is in a mixed footy marriage and i thought it would be interesting to get some inside info on this very tricky dilemma that does in fact affect some of our supporters. so if you don't want andrews tipping advice but find yourself in a mixed marriage or partnership it might be worth your while to ponder his words of wisdom, until the wrap up be sure to wear a kaftan they are incredibly comfy and hide a multitude of sins!!! ps i say the cats will smash the pies, sydney and freo will be tight and we are in with a chance against the blues.love FFF XXX.
Andrew’s Footy Tips
West coast
Essendon
Hawks
Gold Coast
Collingwood
Sydney
Port Power (this one is for the Lady Army)
Richmond
Crows
My life within a ‘mixed’
marriage.
When I first met Nicole there was no Port Adelaide AFL. Back
then she was a devoted Crows supporter. We had seasoned tickets which meant we
went to games together and when we weren’t at the games we watched it on the
T.V. It was an ideal life! Little did I know, this ideal life would come to a
screeching halt in 1997. At first, I was
joyous and very much excited about having another team from SA in the AFL. However, that all changed on one fateful day
in April. The first Show Down. It was
the first time losing a minor round game felt like losing a grand final. She had been confident in the Power and cocky
that they would win, had years of tradition she told me…I believe this match set
in place a strong rivalry not only between our two great clubs but of course
between Nicole and I.
Nicole and I have been together for nearly 17 years and over
that time I have learnt a few things. Invaluable survival strategies………important
things to ensure that all is well in the Bam-ba-lamb house hold. I thought I
would share these with those of you already in a ‘mixed’ marriage or those of
you contemplating entering into such a union. I have titled these life lessons: Advice to the Novice Partner of a Feralina.
Please find them below for your edification.
1. Be tempered when your side wins, as we all
know a loss is just around the corner. (this does not apply to finals games).
2. When deciding who has the best team,
players and achievements, it best to take a support all South Aussie teams
approach. Remember the VFL is the real enemy here.
3.
When
arguing about who is the greatest player, Andrew Mcleod or Gavin Wanganeen,
avert your eyes and don’t commit, we all know it is Mcleod, but any mention of
this and a loud forceful Feralina with arm flying is released. Best to not let
that Genie out of the bottle, hard to shove it back in.
4.
Tempering
the Feralina. This can not be done, especially after a power win. I suggest
you find a cooking show on the television, turn it on and walk out to the room
backwards. Remember your safety comes first.
5.
When
attending /watching the showdown together, don’t cheer too loudly, as they
say, don’t poke the beast when in full flight. Tragedies happen that way.
6.
What to
do during the trip home in the car, if the Crows win. Turn on soothing
music as quickly as possible, important to create a calming environment. Do not
listen to after match rounds ups and most importantly always ask permission to
place scarf out of car window.
7.
What
happens if ‘they’ win? Go immediately to your happy place and think about
the Australian Cricket team smashing the Poms in the next ashes series.
8.
If you
can cope with all that and have decided to make a baby with a Feralina make
sure you promise not to influence your child’s choice of team. Of course, while Feralina’s back is turned
sing Crows team song at bed time and if child have been firmly indoctrinated
into the ways of Port Adelaide book them immediately into the many deprogramming
groups based around the state the help those confused babies born into this
unholy of holy situation. Really, it is the humane thing to do.
To wrap up, my life with a Feralina has been full of
passion, footy bifo and lots of great footy memories, and if you’ve got the
constitution it well worth risking your life.
* I have to say my guest tipster has excelled himself...GOLD STAR AWARD!!!
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